Memoirs of a Werewolf
by R11-chan
Summary: It's high time the story was told from another point of view. Read as Kingdom Hearts is told through Saix's eyes; The eyes of a nobody. Beware of Yaoi, Lemon, Violence, and everything else unsightly. AxelXSaix, AxelXRoxas, XemnasXSaix, and more!
1. Chapter 1: All I wanted was you

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or anything that's going on in this story.

Chapter 1: All I wanted was you.

I sat on his porch, waiting for him to come outside. I never went inside Lea's house. He had issues with his mother. She blamed everything on him, all because his father walked out on her, and she wasn't ready for the relationship to end. She constantly told him that he would never amount to anything that his father was, but I tend to disagree. Although, I'm probably biased; Lea was all I had. It wasn't that I was afraid of her, oh no, that wasn't the case at all. It was Lea who'd asked me never to come in. He didn't want me to see him in a different way then I knew him. It was meaningless however. I could still hear them screaming.

"Shut-up mom, just leave me alone!" Lea stormed out of the house. His reddish-brown hair was in the usual spiked fury, and he was wearing his favorite purple zip up hoody. Blue jeans and sneakers moved swiftly as he bounded down the steps toward me. I stood, preparing to match his stride with my own, knowing what was coming. Once we were far enough away from the house, Lea would unleash a fury of emotions like a burning flame, untamed and destructive, and I was there to lick his wounds.

We'd done this almost every night for about 2 years now. Lea, my best friend, my everything walked with me beneath the moonlight, despite the way I acted beneath its peculiar pull on me. He was one of the only boys my age unafraid of me. You could say I was "a bit of a lunatic." I walked right next to him, waiting to turn the corner, and for him to let loose. I never minded though. Just having him there was enough, although he could stand to toughen up a little bit. But, I'd rather have him, emotions and all than none at all.

"It just isn't fair." He finally said. Much calmer tonight than I expected. "I never chose to look like my father. I'm not her punching bag. What does she want from me?" He looked pointedly at the floor. My heart ached as I looked at him. The minute he moved his eyes, he'd probably cry.

"We go through this all the time, and I tell you every single time that you're free to split an apartment with me. " I say, trying to do anything to loosen his burden.

"And every time I tell you no. I wouldn't-"

"Want to burden you like that." I finished his sentence. "Lea, you're getting predictable." I said. We both laughed a little. "But in all seriousness, you don't need to go through this every day. We both have jobs, and the longer you stay in that house the closer you get to a tumor. I think I can see one growing!" I say pretending to examine his head.

"Shut-up!" Lea exclaimed, slapping away my hand. He laughed a little though; mission accomplished. "Besides, sometimes I wonder if my mom didn't have me to kick in the nuts, what she would do to herself…"

"Get a dog, and then kick it in the nuts. Maybe if we're lucky it'll be a girl, and then they can bitch each other out." I say, in a matter-of-fact tone. He laughed a little more. We made our way to the park. We played in this park when we were much younger, and it hasn't really changed much. We just don't swing on the swings anymore. We sit on top of the picnic tables, climb the trees, and draw on anything we can. But tonight Lea had something different in mind. He sat, flat on the ground, and then laid down on his back. I sat next to him.

"Can you find the north star?" Lea asked. I laid down to get the view. I instinctively looked for the brightest star, the first one I saw, and pointed to it. Leah curled and craned his body until he could see where my finger was pointing. "Uhh…nope. That's definitely Venus." He said.

"Tcht whatever. Where is it then Mr. Astronomer?" I asked.

"It'd be right there." He took my hand, and pointed in the direction of the star. I left my hand in mid air for a split second to find it, and then lowered my hand slowly, the traces of Lea's warmth still there.

"Oh…" I say. I started to twitch a little. I looked up to the sky, only to notice the clouds were parting from the moon slightly. I twitched a little more. I always got twitchy when the moon came out. Very twitchy and very warm.

"Are you gonna be alright?" Lea asked.

"Yeah, tonight isn't a full moon. This is nothing. You should know this by now." I said.

"Believe me, I do. But you're fidgeting a little more than usual." As he said that, I looked at my skin. It was almost bubbling. I called it an allergy, it was the only possible explanation. It wasn't like I could go get diagnosed for this or anything. What were they going to ask me? "_Have you experienced any sexual encounters with gigantic rabid wolf-men lately?"_ I laughed a little at the thought. My response would easily have been "I_ wish."_

"What are you thinking about?" Lea asked me.

"Nothing," I say looking back up to the stars, deliberately averting my eyes from Lea's.

"You're a terrible liar. You had that wicked grin on your face, you know, like the one you get right before-"Lea began before something began to rustle in the grass. We both sat up, anxious. It wasn't often that the police came by, but when they did we usually got in trouble. We looked around, but nothing was there.

But then we heard it again.

"You hear that too?" Lea asked.

"Yes," I said, still trying to figure out where it was. We stood back to back searching around. Maybe it was some filthy rodent.

"Hey, look!" Lea said. I turned in his direction. He was looking directly into the trees on the outskirts of the park. We walked a little closer, until we could clearly make out a pair of yellow eyes.

"Oh, it's just a cat." I say, brushing it off. But then another pair appeared right next to it. And then two more…they were growing exponentially!

"Sai…I don't think those are cats…!" Lea said. One of the creatures came out. It was black, with yellow eyes. It looked like a gigantic insect; like a cricket the size of a dog. It squirmed a little, and then it began to come forward, only much faster. Then it hit a sprinting pace. "Shit!" Lea exclaimed. We both turned heel, running. I made the crucial mistake of looking back, only to see a pool of yellow eyes chasing after us!

"Lea the monkey bars!" I exclaimed. We climbed to the very top, as quickly as we could. Slowly but surely we were surrounded by the yellow eyed creatures. I hoped silently that there was a God, and that these things couldn't climb.

Silly me, it must've slipped my mind that I have only been to church three times; once for a wedding, and twice for funerals. Even if there was a God, to him, I was a nobody.

The creatures squirmed their way right up the monkey bars. I swore, as Lea and I panicked. They inched closer to us. We kicked, but it did no good; they absorbed our blows without pain.

"We have to jump!" Lea screamed! He jumped off of the monkey bars and landed within the pool of creatures. I tried to follow suit, but one of them grabbed at my leg before I could. I hit my leg on the bar, feeling my bone snap beneath the pressure of my weight and the collision. I dropped to the ground in pain, hitting 3 bars on the way down. The dark creatures crowded me. The last thing I could hear was Lea, screaming my name. And then, there was nothingness.

I couldn't see anything, I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't even breathe. All I felt, was an awkward feeling in my stomach. I felt like I was being poisoned. I cringed and tightened, but then it all circulated into my chest. I gasped, as I felt my body float in the air. My chest burned with agony for about 15 seconds, and then my body hit the ground, limp and relieved of the pain. But it wasn't worth the feeling of emptiness that came with it. It was cold. I'd never known anything to be colder than the winters up north, but this was absolute zero.

I lay there, until I could fully control my body again. I opened my eyes, slowly and saw the same scenery of the dark sky. A few minutes later, and my eyes moved to find the north star, but it wasn't there. I did notice that the dark creatures were now gone. I sat up slowly, still slightly in pain, but the worst feeling was that of the emptiness. Then from what I could see, was Lea, or what was left of him. He hadn't surfaced yet. He was lying on the ground, limp and cold.

And he was naked.

…And so was I.


	2. Chapter 2: Nothing really matters

Chapter 2: Nothing really matters

I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. No, it wasn't that I couldn't. It was that I had no motive to. I didn't want to scream, but I thought that screaming would be appropriate for what I was feeling; cold, horrified, empty, and most of all naked. Once I could move my body, I crawled over to Lea. Inch by inch, I made my way over, squishing each little bug and dirtying my knees in the dirt along the way. I finally made my way over to him, when I saw him.

But he wasn't the Lea that I knew.

This boy had long, flaming red hair, but it was spiked the exact same way. He had dots beneath his eyes, reminiscent of tears, and he had much more of a physique, muscles where I didn't remember them, and muscles that I'd never seen. I watched his eyes open slowly. I moved to touch him, his eyes followed, but even if he wanted to stop me I assumed he couldn't. If he was going through the same thing I was, he wouldn't be able to move for a little while.

I gently touched his cheek. It felt the same as mine; ice cold, but comfortable. It was like touching a corpse, I would know. I withdrew my hand from his face, and collapsed opposite him. I laid on the ground, thinking my way back into my muscles, remembering which finger was which, and which toe was which. Lea's fists were clenching into the dirt, and his legs began to move. Finally, he sat up. I did to. He moved closer to me, and I remained still, looking into his eyes now much brighter in color, though soul-less.

He wrapped his arms around me. I remember wanting this to happen. Never had I told anyone that I was gay, but some part of me always wished that Lea knew, and that maybe if not now eventually, he could feel the same. I remember watching romantic movies about couples coming together, and casting Lea as the hero, and myself as the heroine. I remembered that I waited for this day my entire life. This was supposed to be the day my heart became complete.

But as I sat there on the ground, I didn't feel anything. No warmth, no touch, nothing. If I couldn't see that his arms were around me I wouldn't know that they were there. And then what he did next brought me to the realization that I hadn't made yet. He moved his head, from my shoulder, down my chest to my left right where my heart is supposed to be.

I listened. I waited. I held my breath to quicken the pulse.

Nothing…

I took both of my hands, placing one at the base of Lea's neck, and the other around his wrist, feeling for what I remember to be a pulse.

Nothing….

We had to be dead.

He moved back up slowly, and looked into my eyes. I wanted badly to say his name. I tried to form the words in my mouth. But the warmth and familiarity that I associated with Lea was gone. He moved away from me, sitting very limp. I struggled terribly trying to say his name, but it just wouldn't come out.

Then a dark mist appeared across from us.

I turned my head slowly, unable to move any faster. Lea had looked over as well. Out of the darkness came two figures. One stood much taller than the other. His dread-locked black hair was pulled into a long ponytail at the back of his head, and he had the facial hair of a caveman. His eyes looked deathly serious, and he had the physique to back it up. The other had long blonde hair, and his face was much more kept with thinner eyebrows. His eyes however had a hint of a superiority complex.

"It would appear that the reports were correct. We've found a couple of strong hearted subjects." The blonde seemed satisfied.

"Yes. Now let's get this over with," said the bigger one. They both walked toward us. The blonde moved for Lea. He grabbed his chin, tilting it up to look into his eyes.

"The subject is healthy. He'll run great tests!" But before he could examine anything, my hand jerked out and grabbed his wrist. I don't know what provoked me to do this, but I squoze…hard.

"Ahh! And this one has reflexes!" The blonde cringed. I could feel the fragments of his bones constricting beneath my new vice grip.

"Probably some engrained pathetic instinct to protect the red-head," said the bigger one. I didn't avert my gaze from the blonde, but if I had to guess, the bigger one was smirking.

"X-Xaldin! A hand if you please?" The blonde was now on his knees, succumbing to my strength. My thumb nail, now 3 times longer than I remember dug into his flesh. I knew I needed to cut them, but that was before I had claws. "XALDIN!"

And the bigger one was right infront of me. His hand came across my face with a brute force,

And I was out.


	3. Chapter 3: Saix

Chapter 3: Saix

I read somewhere that humans dream every time they're asleep. The text said that "one may not always recall the dream that they dreamed, but that is no proof that there was no dream at all. A dream is merely the continuation of one's thought in one's sleep. One will only no longer dream when one's mind has ceased to function i.e. they are deceased." I would imagine that person never met a nobody; because I'm positive I haven't dreamed one night since that day. The day I became meaningless.

I laid flat on my back in an uncomfortable bed. Whoever made this either had no inclination of the workings of the human spine, or had never met anyone with a curvy ass. Either way, my lower back was sore from lying like this for so long. I turned to lean on my side, but something stopped me. My eyes opened slowly, and I took an observation of the room.

Everything was grey. There was no hint of color anywhere, other than some flashy lights from afar. My vision was still blurry, so I couldn't make it out. I blinked furiously, shaking my head to try and clean up my vision. And then I heard a voice.

"You've finally awaken."

A silhouette of a person spun around from the flashy lights. My eyes finally adjusted, and I saw that it was a computer screen. And the man that I'd seen was none other than the arrogant prick that met the fury of my vice grip upon our last acquaintance. I noticed that I left my mark. He moved to examine my body, and his sleeve pulled back. His wrist was red and swollen.

He took a light and flashed it directly into my eye. I flinched, naturally, but I adjusted to that as well. He did the same to the other. Then he walked back over to the computer screen. I tried to sit up, but the damned wires wouldn't let me move! I'd had enough. My hand moved to my other arm, and I yanked out each wire one by one.

"What are you doing?! You imbecile!" I stopped, to see that the angry blonde was disturbed. "I wasn't done examining you yet!" He stomped back over, but I put a hand up. "Oh, so you're a tough guy now are you? Sit back you mongrel!"

"Where…..is……Lea…?" I struggled, but the words came out.

"Oh, it talks? Let me break this down in simple terms." I looked him directly in his eyes. I understood him full well, I just couldn't talk back. But now that I think about it, this early in the game, it was probably best that I couldn't. "I-am-Vexen. I-am-your-senior-so-I-am-the-boss-of-you! Lay-down!" He exaggerated his lip movements and spoke slowly to me like I was a foreigner.

"Where…..is…..Lea….!" I tried again. It was all I could say, but then again, it was all I needed at the moment.

"Lay down! " He yelled, and grabbed my shoulders. I took my palm and shoved it right into his sternum. He hit the wall, breathless. I yanked the rest of the wires out of my body, and flipped out of the bed. I looked around frantically for an exit, and made my way to the nearest exit, but then I stopped. A tall man, with silver hair stood in the doorway. Whatever form of intuition I had left told me not to take this man on…yet.

"Ah, you've finally awaken number VII. And I see you've left quite the impression on Vexen. "He walked toward me. I backed up instinctively, until I hit the end of the bed post that I'd just flipped over. He came closer, and I looked into his eyes. They were soulless just like every other pair I'd seen so far. "You need not be afraid of me number VII. I will not harm you."

"Where is Lea?!" I was able to say it much quicker now.

"Number VIII has already awoken. He is with his mentor, Lexaeus. "Finally, someone answered my question. He walked away from me toward the computer screen.

"Lord Xemnas…I didn't get to finish the test. He showed resistance," said Vexen, finally getting off of the floor.

"Ah but Vexen, this appears to be more than enough information. In fact, I will name him right here." Have you recovered his former name yet?" I realized that the silver haired man outranked the blonde in the hierarchy. There was something about his presence that let me know he wasn't to be crossed.

"But Lord Xemnas, there's so much that I didn't get-"Vexen began, but he stopped abruptly. It was in this moment that I witnessed first hand, just how terrifiying Xemnas could be. He turned his head, slowly and shot a glare at Vexen that looked as if he crushed him with his eyes alone.

"Did you not hear me, Vexen?" Xemnas asked.

"H-his real name was S-Sai! Number VIII confirmed it sir!" Vexen said, now both afraid for his life, and embarrassed at the way he was put in his place. He looked away as quick as he could, to break the scrutiny of Xemnas' gaze. Xemnas looked back to the computer screen. As horrifying as it was, I had to admit, that level of control was unusually attractive…

"Sai…" Xemnas said, slowly turning away from the computer screen. He came back to me. I watched his every move.

"This is informal, but from this day forward, you will be known as number VII, Saix. I will formally induct you into the organization upon a later date, as I am rather busy. But, take this as a personal welcome into the organization VIII. I expect great things from you, Saix." He gave me a confident smirk, and walked toward the door, with an air of grace and dignity surrounding his aura. When he moved, he appeared to glide. It contrasted greatly with my animalistic movements. He vanished from the room, and I stared blankly at his last position.

And then I remembered I really didn't give a damn! I walked out of the room and emerged into a broad hallway. Everything was still grey, and I felt completely lost in this room. There was no sign of the man, Xemnas, from a few moments ago. But it didn't matter. I was on a mission. "Lea…"

I took off into a swift stride in my white "patient's" gown. I looked down every hall, every corridor, and inside every room. I went up and down the numerous stairs, into what appeared to be a main kitchen and anywhere else in reach. But try as I may, there was no sign of Lea anywhere. I returned to what appeared to be a common room, and looked out of the windows. This place was so obscure. It had to be hell! There was nothing but nothing for miles. Everything was so hollow, and grey, even the fake grass beneath this place! But then I heard that all too familiar sound, and suddenly turned around. The black smoke appeared, and out of it stepped two figures. One enormous man stepped out, with prickly reddish-brown hair, almost akin to someone I used to know. But then I saw the other one.

"You did well today Axel. Your usage of the limit break approached a level of professionalism. You may even make a great assassin one day," said the large man, but the other one stood still, with a hood concealing his face. "You are dismissed until tomorrow."

I stood there, and watched as the larger one walked away. The hooded figure remained still. But then he turned to look at me, his black coat following suit. He took the hood off of his head, and I stared in wonder.

"…………Sai…….?"

It was Lea.


	4. Chapter 4: The arms of sorrow

We looked at each other for what seemed to be three minutes, until I took a step forward. My knee jerked, and I fell to the floor. I didn't understand why this happened; I just roamed the entire castle in search of him, and now I couldn't take one step? He walked toward me, lifting me up with ease, and allowed me to stand on my own two feet again. I held his arms for support, until I was sure I wouldn't fall again. He took a strand of my hair into his hand.

"…..Blue…?" I looked into his hand, and then realized that in my frenzy, I never looked at myself! Surely I may have changed, seeing as Lea's body morphed into a more mature form. I pulled a strand in front of my eye and realized that my hair had gone from its raven black, two a blue comparable only to the sky itself. I turned around to face the window, this time looking at it for the reflection, rather than looking through it like before.

I was taller, and I had much more of a physique. My hair, despite its drastic color change, was now much longer. I looked at my hands, and the daggers I had for fingernails. I looked down at my legs, now equitable to a track runner. And then I walked closer, I saw, on my forehead, the X scar left from my fall from the monkey bars.

"…….name…?" Lea asked. I turned around to face him again.

"…..name…?" Surely Lea hadn't forgotten me? No, he just said my name a moment ago. He pointed to his face and slowly began to speak.

"…….Number VIII….Axel…" He said. This was so painful! To have a mind that moved so fast, and a body that couldn't keep up was true torture. I knew exactly what he was asking, but all I could manage was my reply.

"……Number VII…"

"Saix." We both faced my right, and saw another cloaked figure; one we hadn't met before. He stood equal to my height, with slate blue hair covering at least half of his face. He wore the same cloak the rest of them wore; black, brooding, menacing, and somewhat reminiscent of a bad movie. He folded his arms across his chest, raising his head to look down on me and Lea. Just what the doctor ordered; another prick.

"Good evening Axel. It's a pleasure to meet you, Saix. I am your senior mentor, number VI, Zexion."

Sounded like a reject reindeer. I nodded in response.

"I've been assigned to be your guide and help you accommodate to the lifestyle of Organization VIII. We will begin with the grand tour of the castle. Follow me," he said turning around, but I stayed put; I wasn't going anywhere without Lea. Zexion turned around, realizing that I hadn't followed. "Did you not hear me Saix?" I pointed at Lea.

"With….my…..friend…" I struggled.

"Yes, well I don't care if Axel accompanies us. Now then, shall we move along?" I looked at Lea, who nodded, and walked forward. I followed them both.

The tour turned out to be very helpful. As huge as this place was, I had a feeling that I wouldn't get lost now that Zexion had shown me every nook and cranny of the place. As a matter of fact, I was wrong about Zexion. He wasn't a prick, no, nothing like Vexen. He was just extremely intelligent, and gave off that feeling. We were walking down the halls of the south wing now, which was where all of us lived. Lea showed me his room, and I nodded, committing it to memory. Zexion then pointed to his.

"This is my room. Feel free to knock any time you need me, I'll most likely be up reading anyway." He said. Then we walked a few doors down, as he listed off a few more names that I tried to make connections to. I'd met all but one of them at this point; a man named Xigbar who stayed two doors down from Zexion. Then we stopped at a door. "This is the superior's room, Lord Xemnas."

I was reminded of the frightening man from before, as I looked at the door. I thought of what could possibly be beyond the door. What on earth could accommodate someone of his presence?

"You are not, among any circumstances, allowed to go into the superior's room, without his permission. At this stage of your…well…afterlife, you probably cannot ask why, but I know you are thinking that." Finally somebody who understood. "Even I do not know why we are not allowed in his room, but I do not dare try and find out. I've witnessed the superior's power only once, but it was enough to teach me never to challenge it."

I believed him. We walked on, and arrived upon the room next to the superior's. "Saix, this is your room." I opened the door. It was exactly like my room back home. Everything was left in exactly the same place that I'd left it; the only difference was none of it was my stuff. Or if it was, I wouldn't be able to tell; everything was grey.

"The superior believes that if we recreate our lives before our transformations, we'll have a better chance of regaining ourselves in the near future, so he sent me on a recon mission to duplicate your living center. I hope you find it to your liking," He said, throwing me a key. I assumed it went to my own door. "As I said, feel free to knock on my door should you have any questions. You will begin field work in three days." He said, taking his leave.

I looked from the door, to Lea, and then at my bed. I sat on it, amazed that even the mattress and sheets themselves were the same. I knew that this wasn't my home though; very close, but not quite home. I sat there, and grabbed one of the books at my bedside table, recognizing it as my diary. The pages were copied to a T, but it wasn't in my handwriting. Great, so now that Zexion knew all of my deepest, darkest, secrets, I was going to be paranoid around him. I wondered what he thought of me working at a cemetery…

Lea came over, and sat on my bed as well. We stayed like this, for quite some time, neither of us feeling strong enough to talk, until Lea stood up again. He walked toward the door.

"Goodnight…..Sai…" He said, waving goodbye.

" Night….." I said. He left closing the door, and I collapsed onto my replica pillow. My eyes shut, and before I knew it I was asleep.

I awoke that morning to the idle grey tone of my room. There was no sunlight, only the artificial lighting that mimicked it. I doubted that normal people could survive in this world. Hell, I still didn't even know what I'd become. However, my body was still fully functional, as my stomach let its opinion ring through the empty spaces of my room; I was starving. I pushed back my sheets so I could get my legs out of bed, and stood up. I noted that I had much more control over my body from one night's sleep.

I walked into my bathroom, and turned on the lights. I had vanity mirrors, so I folded them to look at myself. I wanted to fully take in my new form, from my golden eyes, to my furious fangs. I slipped off the patients gown that I'd slept in, and stepped back to look at my body. I was never obese, but I was also never this muscular. My body…was flawless. I even spun around to look at my backside. My shoulders were broad, but not too big, and I still had hips, and an ass. The muscles in my legs fit the curve and everything. Even if I had lost something, I'd gained something else in this body.

I opened the door of my shower, and turned the shower head so I wouldn't get cold when the water first hit me. Then, once the temperature was to my liking, I stepped in and closed the door behind me. I let the water fall into my hair, as my body was soaked into the soothing bliss. I covered my hands with soap, and faded away into my own world. I remembered the sound of laughter. The jokes that Lea and I used to make. I tried to laugh, but it just came off as fake now. I had no reason to laugh, nothing to give me the joy to.

After I stepped out of the shower, I dried off, and walked into my room to put on some clothes. All of my drawers however, were empty of my own clothes. Instead, they were filled with the black cloaks that everyone wore. Thankfully though, I did still have underwear. I put them on, and then tried on the cloak. I had to admit, it did look good on me.

My stomach growled again, and I threw my hood above my head, for some unknown reason, as I walked out of the door. Remembering Zexion's tour directions, I easily made my way to the kitchen. I looked into the fridge, but what I saw wasn't a fridge, no, it was heaven. Back in my house we never had so many options. It was spaghetti, every night. But in this utopia, everything you could ever hunger for, could be found! Everything was separated into the food pyramid as well, with the grains on the bottom and the sweets on the top! I figured with 8 guys in the house, we would have to have a lot of food, but this was just too generous!

I took out the ingredients I needed to make French toast and bacon, while preparing coffee. I remembered that I used to sing while I cooked, or at least, when I knew no one was around to listen. I tried to sing again, but I just didn't feel like it. It didn't sound bad, but I stopped. I couldn't think of the freedom that singing brought me anymore.

Once my bacon was done, I pulled out a plate from one of the cabinets and put a paper towel on it, setting the bacon upon it to let the grease drip out. Once my French toast was done and my coffee complete, I moved to the grand dining room. Although grey, the setting was very elegant. So elegant, that I decided I didn't belong there. I turned around, only to almost bump into someone.

"Hello Saix."

"Superior…?"


	5. Chapter 5: My gift is my song

I looked up into his golden eyes. They were so calm, but so frightening. He looked like a loving father and an evil dictator at the exact same time. Luckily we didn't bump into each other, or the plate in my hand would've gotten all over him. Something tells me I would've surely died in that instant if that ever happened.

"Are you finding your stay enjoyable, Saix?" He asked, looking down into my eyes. I nodded, deciding not to try and speak. "I hope you don't mind, I stole some of the coffee that you made. Would you care to join me?" I looked at his hand, and sure enough he had a mug of the coffee I brewed moments ago. I noted interestingly enough that it was pitch black. There wasn't an ounce of sugar or cream in it. I usually didn't use much sugar, but I was never tough enough for a solid black brew either. I looked back into his eyes, and nodded; as if I would dare defy him this early. I couldn't even speak for crying out loud!

He walked around me, pulling out my own chair, and a chair for him. I found this gesture very peculiar; it was very kind of him. He sat down, and I set my plate on the table, across from him. I sat down, and looked at the silverware. There were so many forks and knives; I just didn't know what was for what! I didn't want to make an ass of myself in front of this man though, so I decided to start by sipping my coffee. He mimicked my action, and took a sip of his own concoction. I watched as he swallowed it; it seemed to rejuvenate him in a way.

"You must be wondering 'what all has happened to you, 'and why? You and Axel are the first outsiders that we have detected." I looked down at my food then back at him. I chose to nod, as it was the only thing that could give him any form of feedback. "I don't suppose either of you is familiar with a man named Ansem?" I shook my head. "Well then, let me tell you a story."

"Ansem was a wise man. He was a scientist, but more so, a philosopher. He ruled my hometown, the Radiant Garden. He lived his life looking for answers, for a meaning to everything. Well, one day he found a young man named Xehanort, on the brink of death, in the aftermath of a great battle by those who used Keyblades to fight." I looked at him oddly. What on earth was a keyblade? "As such, Ansem nursed the young boy to health, and he became Ansem's apprentice."

"However, as time went by, Ansem worried that the darkness of people's hearts would one day swallow his home. In order to understand and counter it, Ansem began conducting tests on Xehanort's heart. But, the more he probed, the more he became worried about Xehanort's well being and his strange superhuman abilities." I sipped more of my coffee, taking in the superior's entire story.

"Still, Ansem eventually constructed a large laboratory in the basement of his castle, encouraged by Ienzo. However, Ansem's six apprentices, under the leadership of Xehanort, used the laboratory in order to conduct inhumane experiments on the human heart and the darkness within it. Ansem immediately ordered his apprentices to cease their experiments and sealed the chamber. But Xehanort, secretly continued his experiments alone, now that the others wouldn't continue without Ansem's permission. When one of Ansem's six apprentices, Dilan, caught Xehanort sneaking back into the sealed chamber, they all went down together to stop him. But it was too late."

I was now munching on my french toast, totally engaged as if this were a movie, playing in my head.

"Inside of the lab, was a yellow eyed black creature, resembling a bug." I dropped my fork, remembering what happened, and nodded furiously. " I see, you recognize them. Today, we call them heartless, but, you can thank Xehanort for their existence. Anyway, the heartless attacked them all, pulling the darkness from their insides, and springing them to life. You see Saix, when a heartless attacks, it feeds on the purity of the heart. What's left manifests as darkness, which then becomes another heartless. And the body that is left behind, is called a nobody. The body however, can sometimes resemble the original body, depending on how strong the original heart was."

I put my hand on my heart, and realized at once, that I had to be a heartless.

"Yes Saix, you've guessed it. You and I are one in the same. We are all nobodies." Close enough. "And as you may have also guessed, I was Ansem. The other five you've recently met were my subordinates, other than Xehanort. Our names are simply anagrams of who we once were. If you take the X's out, you can guess our real names." I immediately began thinking of who everyone was before they were nobodies. Some of them were really hard to guess. I mean, it was obvious that Xaldin was Dilan, and Vexen must've been called Even, but who the hell was Lexaeus?

" I have taken it upon myself to try and restore nobodies, like you and I, back to who we were before. We cannot live like this, it is inhumane. And I believe I have found our solution in the mystical Kingdom Hearts. I urge you to join our side Saix, and maybe we will all be able to feel once more." He looked down, and I gazed at him. Some part of me wanted to believe in everything that he said, but all of this was so sudden. And besides, what made him so paternal and loving? Last I checked, we didn't have hearts, so I don't know where he gets all of this compassion from.

Just then, beneath his cloak something began to beep. He pulled back and looked at his watch. " I beg your pardon Saix, I must be going. I hope these next two days are pleasant for you." He immediately grabbed his coffee and glided away back into the kitchen. I watched him gracefully sweep away, and then looked back at my food.

"…..Nobody…." I said. Suddenly, I wasn't quite so hungry anymore. I took my food and threw it in the trash, draining the coffee down the sink and cleaning off my plate, trying to make it as spotless as before I used it. I reset the table to cover my own tracks, and left. I walked up the stairs, in the direction of our dorm rooms. As I entered the hallway, I knocked on Lea's door. No one came, so I figured he was still off doing fieldwork. I wondered why he'd awaken so much faster than I did, and then I remembered that Lea hadn't met the wrath of Xaldin's backhand. I walked onward, and thought of a question for Zexion, so I knocked on his door.

"Who is it?" I knocked again. "I asked who is it?" I knocked again. He finally came to the door. "Oh, Saix. I'm sorry, I forgot you can't really talk yet, can you?" I shook my head.

"How…..speak……normal….?" I felt like such a caveman.

"I suggest reading. My former self, Ienzo, took much pleasure in reading books. When I became a nobody, I immediately read out of habit. I was able to speak again upon my fifth day of my afterlife. Do you remember where the castle's library is?" I nodded my head. "Good, is that all you needed?" I nodded my head again. "Ah, well then, farewell Saix." I waved goodbye, and walked off to the library. I needed the ability to speak again.

When I opened the door, I was amazed. This library had to have every book imaginable. It was so vast I could easily get lost in here alone! I immediately headed straight for the fiction; anything to keep the pages turning. I found a horror thriller, a story about pirates, and a romance novel about a teenage girl and a vampire. According to the rules that Zexion explained, I just had to bring them back at some point. After that, I went back to my own room to read them.

The rest of my day was like that, occasionally breaking to feed the green monster in my belly. I ripped right through the first book like toilet paper, and once I put it down, I went to go see if Lea was back. I knocked on his door. He answered.

"………….Sai……." He said.

"Hi….Lea…" I said. I smirked a little, because I was getting faster. "How….was…..field….work?" I managed! Zexion was right! Lea was jealous that I could speak now.

"How………..you……..?" I knew what he was asking.

"Read…." I replied. I then walked into his room. It had been the same that I remembered to. I could only come in when his mother wasn't home, but it was nice. It even smelled the same! But, like my room, everything was grey.

I spent the rest of my time, trying to converse with Lea, until we both agreed that this was too much work. After that, I went back to my room, and read myself to sleep. I repeated my actions for the next two days, although I didn't come across the superior again. The books really did help. I still wasn't quite up to speed, bur for a little while I was considering sign language. But, the next morning marks my first day of field work.


	6. Chapter 6: It must be the weed

I awoke the next morning to the annoying sound of my alarm clock. I'd always set my alarm for two hours before necessary; mostly because I liked to snooze a little. I lay still for another half hour before I bothered to move. I went to my bathroom, and did the daily ritual; shower, teeth, hair, deodorant, etc. I slipped into my uniform, and walked down stairs to the kitchen. I really wasn't hungry again, so I only put coffee on the pot. I made it to my preference, and left a little for anyone who cared for some.

Zexion told me to meet him in the grey area, so I finished my cup, and went out to wait. I sat on the couch, patiently, wondering what I was going to have to do. Why was I even doing this? I had no real reason to be here. But, come to think of it, where else would I go? Where would Lea go? As long as Lea was here, I would be as well.

Zexion came through the hallway that led to the grey area, and I stood to greet him.

"Hello Saix."

"Hello…Zexion." I said.

"You've regained some ability to communicate. This will make today's work much easier. Now then, we will be visiting a world named Hollow Bastion." I nodded at this. He extended his hand and the black fog appeared. It seemed like it was so easy, and it just appeared out of nowhere. "After you," he said. I looked at the pit of darkness. I walked toward it, and stepped through, slightly hesitant, yet eager at the same time.

Inside of this pit of darkness, I could see nothing, but the light on the end. I turned around to see if Zexion was there. "Walk toward the light," he said. Weren't you always supposed to avoid the light? "The light will lead you to Hollow Bastion." I walked forward until the light was within my grasping range and then stepped through. When I could see again, I was on top of a cliff, far away from a small town, and a castle. I turned around to see Zexion right behind me. The smoke disappeared.

The sky here looked as if a bunch of colors were mixed together. There were traces of orange left behind from the sunset, which then faded to blue, and a unique shade of purple. It kind of made me a little sick to the stomach. Or maybe the moon was up, and it was affecting my "allergy" already. Regardless, this town made me feel a little queezy.

"Alright, I should begin by telling you that today isn't actually your first day of field work. It's more like a tutorial of what you shall be doing as a part of the Organization VIII. Your first task is to find the hidden treasure." What the hell? Did I look like a pirate? Where would I find treasure? "Move along now Saix, the sooner this is taken care of, the sooner we can return to the castle."

I walked past Zexion, looking around. I really couldn't see anything back there, so I turned around, and walked toward the ledge of the cliff. I leaned slightly over the side, enough to see what I needed to. Sure enough, there was a treasure chest tucked into one of the ledges of the cliff.

"The treasure chest…it's down there." I said.

"Good, now go and retrieve what is inside of it." He had to be kidding me.

"No…there's no way…I can't," I said. I wasn't afraid of heights, but I wasn't a fool either.

"Sure you can. Just jump down the ledges." I shook my head. "What are you afraid of, dying? Surely you've passed that little phase. It's totally possible. I will show you myself." I watched, as Zexion walked toward the edge of the cliff. He gracefully jumped off the edge and danced from ledge to ledge until he landed right where the treasure chest was. "Should I assume that you haven't tested your body's new abilities?" I had no idea what he meant, so I shook my head.

"It's actually quite an interesting theory. Lord Xemnas proposes that when one becomes a nobody, the loss of the heart also creates the loss of fear, and thus the body is capable of accomplishing many feats that the mind would normally prevent. If you don't believe me, step back a little and jump as high as you can." I stepped back and coiled down into my legs. With a push, I jumped several feet into the air. He was correct. I landed, a little astonished at my jumping height.

"You can figure out what else you can do on your own time, but for now, come down here and retrieve the item from this chest. I nodded, and looked down, taking in every ledge I could possibly land on. Then, with a deep breath, I jumped. I landed, gracefully, onto the first ledge. It didn't even hurt, like I though a jump from this height would. I at least expected an unwelcome pressure in my knees, but I didn't feel a thing. After the first jump, the rest seemed like child's play. In fact, I'm certain that my former self would've found this feeling amazing.

I landed right next to Zexion. I looked at the chest, and then took a knee. I opened the chest, and found what appeared to be a bottle with a green liquid inside of it. "That is a potion. They are vital to restore your body to health. It was actually invented by a man named Yen Sid about five hundred years ago." I handed it to Zexion. "No keep it, it's rightfully yours. Now then, let's return to the top of the cliff." Zexion turned and jumped upward. I put the potion in one of the many coat pockets I had in the inside of my cloak, and jumped up behind him.

We landed on top of the cliff again, and I followed after him slowly. We walked until we were almost to the town that appeared so far away a while ago. When we were close to entering, I saw a black and white electrical pulse shaped like an X across the entrance.

"These are called Area Blocks. Lord Xemnas finds these worlds before we do, so he does the initial scan. Then, when he coordinates our missions, he sets markers of areas that will prove unnecessary, or dangerous." It seemed like a lot of work. I only thought to question Xemnas' motives for going to such lengths. Why did he care, especially now that we were freakish monster creatures that could jump on top of roofs? Either way, I knew that I wasn't to cross these lines; they looked harmful. "Follow me," he said. We walked until we were in some sort of trench like area, surrounded by cliffs.

"What I need to teach you now will require you to be under a certain level of stress. I'm going to come at you with the intent of harming you. You'd best find some way to defend yourself," He said. I looked up at him a little confused, until I saw his fist coming straight for my nose! I ducked and staggered back a little. He slammed the wall with his fist, and it cracked, with some rocks coming down at my head! I ran backward, tripping in the process. "You need to focus." Yeah, right! How do you focus when someone you thought was taking care of you, suddenly swung for your head ?! "You need to think of something that will give you the ability to fend me off." I began to think until I saw him come at me again, intending to strike me! I blocked this one, but he knocked me back with a different blow. I hit the wall this time, and grunted at the pain.

My back ached horribly, and I shook my head, to see Zexion charging at me! By now, I'd had enough. I snarled, and stood up. When he was getting too close, I felt a pull in my energy all focused into my hand. I waved, and a heavy solid object appeared into my grasp. I swung wildly at Zexion, who stopped in time to dodge my attack before I even realized that I just pulled a weapon out of thin air! "This is your own personal weapon. It appears to be a Claymore. Saix, this weapon answers only to your call. Lord Xemnas believes that our weapons are conjured from our former thoughts and insecurities. For example-"he said, and then waved his hand. In it, a book appeared. "This is my weapon, the Lexicon. I like control, and I am insecure when my fate is left in another's hand. So, my weapon allows me to alter reality to fit my own needs."

I looked at my claymore, and wondered what it was born from. But I was interrupted when a shadow appeared a few feet away from us. I jumped a little out of instinct. "Ah how fortunate, a heartless has arrived. Go ahead Saix; show it the power of your weapon." I gazed into those big souless yellow eyes and flashbacked to the night of my death. My emotions flew into a flux, but one stood out clear enough. I was blinded with rage, and I charged forward, at an unbelievable speed! I slashed the heartless once across the midsection, and watched as it obliterated into thin air. It left behind some munny, and a smile formed across my lips.

"That was impressive I must admit, although slightly brutal, and very reckless." I looked back at Zexion, my smile now gone. "But, the deed is done, and now we can return to the castle." I waved, and my claymore vanished into thin air. "Your last task is to conjure up the portal that will allow us to return. It isn't difficult, just focus on your destination, and extend your hand. The energy will form into a dark smoke. Just keep stretching this smoke until you can walk through it, and the portal will be complete."

I did as he said, and visualized the castle; I visualized Lea and the kitchen now that I was starving. Then, I extended my hand, and let the darkness flow from my body as it created a portal.

"Excellent," said Zexion as we walked through, ending up back in the grey area that we left from. As strange as today was, I felt accomplished. "You did well today Saix. I will see you tomorrow for your next lesson. You are dismissed," he said, walking off into the hallway. I for one was exhausted, so I sat on the couch, and took off my shoes. I began to rub my feet, when Lea walked into the grey area.

"Hey.." he said.

"Hey," I responded.

"How was..your first day?" He asked, walking around the couch.

"Pretty intense…" I said, now rubbing my feet through my socks. "What about you…? We can at least…try and..talk now," I said.

"Lexeaus left..a couple of bruises." He unzipped his cloak a little to show a nasty welt that formed to the right of his sternum! I snarled, and he zipped his cloak back up. "You ok…man?"

I calmed myself, and nodded. "I wasn't…growling at you…"

"Whatever…just don't bite me…Fido." I glared at him, and he smirked.

"I'm not a dog." I was proud of that one. It came out quite clear, as if a spell was breaking! Or maybe I was just better at talking when I had to stand up for myself.

"Could've fooled me…with those fangs," Lea said, and pointed at my mouth. I turned around and looked into the window, and he was right. Inside of my mouth, were four pointed fangs that seemed as if they belonged to a wolf. "Sai…look at me." I turned to notice that Lea was at my side. I gasped a little. "Your eyes…they're pink!" He said, coming closer to my face. I didn't like this at all, so I backed away. He smirked and eased closer. "Come on Sai…just let me see…we're friends…" He extended his hand to my face and a low growl escaped my mouth. I didn't know what came over me, but in this moment I felt very hostile. He withdrew his hand, and sat back. "Fine… " he said. He turned. To get up and I reached out for his sleeve.

"Sorry," I said, trying to calm myself. "Please…forgive me." I said. I was taking deep breaths now, trying to relax. Lea sat back down, this time leaving a distance between us. I decided it would be best to try and continue the conversation. "Do you…have a weapon?" I asked. Lea smirked, and stood up.

"Sure do! Watch this!" He spread both of his hands out and a flame ignited from his hands. The flame spun rapidly, until two pin wheels appeared, with the burning aftermath allowing them to glow. I was amazed…until I realized that Lea also managed to set the couch on fire. I jumped off of it, and he panicked, immediately recalling his weapon, and surprisingly the flames along with it. "Heh heh…sorry," He said, scratching the back of his head. I used to think this was cute.

"It's..fine," I said, but I really didn't feel so good. "Lea…I'm sick…I need to go..lay down..goodnight," I said. He dropped his hand and nodded.

"I'm going to..go…sleep to..." he said, and we both turned until we arrived at my door. I waved after he said "goodnight" again, and I slipped into my room, closing the door behind me. I walked into my bathroom and looked in the mirror. I looked insane! My eyes were pinkish red, my fangs were throbbing, a vein was appearing in my forehead. I felt hot, like feverish, but in an energizing way, not sickly. But I knew that this was wrong, or worse yet this was dangerous.

I ran a cold shower, to calm myself down a bit. It helped a little, but I still looked like I had rabies. Once I dried off, I went to my bed to lay down. I laid still with my eyes wide open for what seemed to be hours, until I drifted off into a very light slumber.


	7. Chapter 7: Let it out so it can breathe

I felt my ear twitch and my eyes opened wide. I heard a thumping sound coming from the hallway. I turned my head to look at my alarm clock. It read 4:00 am. There were nights where my senses were strangely acute, but then there were others where I could sleep through a train wreck. But I couldn't get past the thumping.

It was very awkward. I made them out the be footsteps, but they were so awkwardly timed. I sat up, and swung my legs out of the bed, making my way to my own door. Slowly but surely, I placed my hand on the doorknob, and turned it. I opened it slowly.

On the other side, a tall man with flowing white hair was standing right in front of me. His yellow eyes looked exhausted, yet furious at the same time as he glanced back into mine. His hair was in disarray around his face, and his black uniform was torn. He was sweating, and cuts traced the outline of his skin. He was bleeding, and the smell of it was very strong. When I felt his eyes focusing into my own, my core, I panicked and slammed the door!

I backed away from my door, realizing that I just slammed it in the face of my wounded superior. I rushed back to my door and opened it fully this time, looking around for him, but he was gone. I imagine he made it to his room. I turned back around into my room, but then I jumped; until I realized I was only seeing my own reflection in my mirror. I closed the door behind me and went into the bathroom; now that I was awake there was no chance of me going back to sleep.

Once I was fully groomed and dressed, I went to the library. I returned the books that I read, and picked out new ones. After that I went to the kitchen and made a light breakfast with coffee. Once I was done, I went to the couch to read my book, sipping as time went by. The story seemed fairly entertaining, but after a while my mind began to wonder. What on earth was wrong with me last night? What on earth was wrong with Xemnas a half hour ago?

I looked at my reflection in the mirror, noting that I still looked a little feral, but I'd calmed down a lot. There really was no explanation I could find, but I'd be damned if I went and asked Vexen for help. Maybe it was a side effect from training; surely my new body hadn't been used to so much movement so quickly, so it tried to adjust but giving me dog-like traits. Yeah…I didn't believe it either, but for the moment it would do.

Xemnas' figured danced through my mind; so bloody and beaten. What on earth could be powerful enough to do that to him? I didn't understand, he seemed so strong, so in control, so sexy…my penis gave a jolt as if to agree. I decided to get back to my book before I needed a treatment. I continued to read, not noticing the hours slipping by. I shifted a lot, trying to get comfortable. My coffee had run cold. I looked up from my book when I heard footsteps coming toward me.

"You're here early." It turned out to be my mentor, Zexion. I looked at the clock to see that it was time for my next day of training.

"Do you plan on trying to kill me again today?" I could speak again! Let the games begin…

"Dear Saix, if I was trying to kill you, I would've succeeded." He smirked, and I frowned a little. I closed the book and stood up.

"Are we going to the same place?" I asked, preparing to make the portal.

"Yes," he said, standing back. I concentrated, and then made the open door of black smoke appear in front of us. I walked through, this time completely comfortable with the darkness, making my way to the light on the other side. When we stepped through, the portal disappeared, and I let my arms fall at my sides. I turned, looking at Zexion waiting for him to tell me what to do.

"Today, you're going to learn your attribute. Watch closely." I watched as Zexion summoned his Lexicon. "Do you see that boulder over there?" I nodded. "My attribute is illusion. By the power of my attribute, I'm going to make that boulder appear to be a tree."

"Houdini's got nothing on you does he?" I said, but I looked over at the boulder, and there stood an ill-fittingly colorful tree, green leaves with sweet nectar and all. I looked over at Zexion, who canceled his illusion.

"We have no idea what yours is, though I assume it will be ice, seeing as Axel's attribute is fire; and you've got kind of an icy demeanor about yourself." He said smirking.

"Are you flirting with me? It'd help if you were a little more charming." I said.

"You wish, literally." An obvious pitch to my diary; Zexion must die. "Now then, this is very difficult to do, what you need to do is clear your mind of all thoughts, and find your center, meaning your mental place where you are most comfortable." I closed my eyes, clearing my mind of everything I could think to clear. "You need to relax, as if I'm not here. And once you find your center, you will need to look for strength. Whatever gives you strength will be obvious to you; you'll feel a pull toward it. When you know what it is, do what you can to bring it back with you."

I did as he said, closing my eyes. I closed my eyes, and found myself in a thick forest. It was dark, and I heard a high pitched howl. I looked around to see that I wasn't alone. There were wolves around me, snarling at me. This was where I was most comfortable?! I turned and ran as fast as I could, away from the pack. I danced through the trees, the dogs close in pursuit! Surely if I didn't snap out of this little trance I would be dog food!

I kept running forward, and realized that I now had a super-human jumping ability. I jumped from the ground and landed on a tree branch. The wolves barked at me from the base of the tree, and I looked around, frantic. I saw another branch, and leaped for it, then another, and another. I continued to leap until I couldn't see the dogs anymore. So what was I, some sort of plant guy? I didn't like the idea of being the team's Tarzan.

I jumped until I was out of the forest, and upon a grassy cliff. I walked forward, now exhausted and looked up into the sky. There in front of me, was a full moon, radiating toward my body. I fell to the ground in fear, looking at my skin bubbling. My nails grew, my hair lengthened, and my mouth hurt as my teeth began to shift. I panicked, I screamed, no I howled! My body was burning! I continued to scream and lash about, feeling my muscles bulge, until I heard it.

"Saix." I looked around. "SAIX!" I closed my eyes, clapping my hands to my head. "SAIX!" I opened my eyes, and Zexion stood in front of me.

"I can't do it. Don't make me do that." I said now panting for air, a little sweaty.

"Rest assured, you will have another chance at this, but I think that's enough for today." Zexion waved, and a portal appeared. I stood up from the ground, and walked through the portal, hurriedly. Once I made it to the other side, I took off to my room, flying right by Lea.

"Sai!" He was calling after me, but I kept going. I made it to my bedroom and closed the door behind me, sinking to the floor.


	8. Chapter 8: And you can see my heart

(Sorry for the wait everyone, I'm a college student and it was finals time. You know how it is, and if you don't, hopefully you will someday.)

My head rested against the door, and I closed my eyes. I inhaled through my nose, and exhaled through my mouth. My body began to relax, and my heart slowed as well. But I was a little shaken when I heard three loud thumps on my door.

"Sai! Sai, open the door it's me, Lea!"

I stood up to open the door, but he opened it himself. Closing it behind him, I stepped back to allow him personal space.

"What happened? Are you alright?" He actually looked concerned. How could he pull this off? Familiarity?

"I'm fine now," I replied, sitting on my bed. He came and sat next to me.

"What happened?" I paused, but remembered that Lea and I always shared everything with each other. What harm could telling him bring?

"I failed my mission today," I said. Lea looked at me like I'd just said the dumbest thing he'd ever heard.

"Sai, I know you're a crazy perfectionist and all, but messing up a mission isn't the end of the world!" He was a little annoyed now.

"You don't understand. I was supposed to learn my attribute today, and I panicked and failed. It doesn't help that it was in front of Zexion either."

"What? You like him or something?" Lea asked.

"Not a chance. But, it's one more thing he can hold over my head. Anyway, he sent me into this dream state to find it, and it hurt. I felt like I was going to die," I said, looking away.

"That's weird. When Lexaeus taught me my attribute, he put me in a life or death situation, and it just sort of happened. Next thing I knew, I was sneezing fire," Lea said, scratching the back of his head. "What happened in the dream?"

"I ended up in some random forest. There were wolves, everywhere! They were surrounding me! I managed to run away, and I made it to this cliff, but they followed me, and then all I could feel was pain," I said. Lea looked at me, and then stared at the floor. "I'm going to have to try again tomorrow, but I don't want to. I just can't. It'd be easier if you were there," I said, looking back at him now.

Lea smirked and looked up at me. "Maybe I can be. I've finished all of my training, and I don't have an upcoming mission yet. Let's ask Zexion if I can come with you tomorrow!"

"He's going to think I'm weak," I said, standing up now.

"You are weak," He said, now standing to. He pushed me, and I pushed him back, but he grabbed my shoulders. We fell on my bed together, and he jabbed at my sides, tickling me. I barked at him to stop, trying not to laugh, but he kept going. I managed to grab his hands to keep him from torturing me any further. "See, I told you."

"I could totally take you," I said.

"I'd just set you on fire," He said, smirking.

"What, with your sneezing?" I asked, mocking him.

"No, with my sex appeal," he replied, winking at me. I rolled over immediately, to hide my face…and my arousal. He laughed, and stood up. I could feel him tug at my sheets from under my body, and then he left them at the foot of my bed. He unzipped out of his uniform, and left it there on the ground. I looked at him, standing there in his boxers.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked, trying very hard not to look down.

"Getting ready for bed," he said, going through my drawers. He pulled out his pair of pajama bottoms that he left in my room when we were still…human. He put them on, and hopped onto my bed.

"And when did this become a sleep over? Your room is down the hall," I said, in a matter-of-fact tone. When we were human, we had hearts to guide us, and keep us in check. Now that I was just a corpse, nothing really kept me from waking up with my legs intertwined with his…

"I don't feel like walking that far. Deal with it," he said, laying down on one of my pillows. I rolled my eyes and stood up, going to my drawer. I took out a t-shirt and my pajama bottoms, and went into the bathroom. Once I was fully changed, I came back outside and sat on my bed. I turned out my light and pulled the sheets over myself. I laid on my side, facing away from Lea, and positioned myself as far away as possible.

"Night Sai."

"Night," I said, closing my eyes. I was slightly afraid to sleep; afraid to dream again, after what happened with Zexion. But, with Lea's added body heat, my bed was so warm and comfortable, that after about fifteen minutes, I was fast asleep. The trouble didn't come until the next morning.

I awoke a little too comfortably. When I finally stirred, I opened my eyes, to find them staring at flesh. It was Lea's neck. Somehow, Lea managed to snake his arms around me, keeping me pulled into him. One of my hands was against his chest, the other around his neck. His lips were in the perfect position to kiss my forehead. And that's when I realized…

I had a log's worth of morning wood.

I jumped up and pushed Lea out of my bed, hard.

"Hunh? What? What happened?" Lea asked, looking around frantically.

"Get out," I said.

"What? Sai what's wrong?"

"It's morning, and I'm late for training. I need to hurry up and get ready, and you do to, so we can ask Zexion if you can come along."

"Oh…yeah…right," he said, rubbing his eyes and getting off of the ground. He walked to the door, and exited toward his own room. I fell back on to my own pillow out of exhaustion. Sometimes Lea could be a real piece of work. Once I regained my since of composure, I got ready for the day, dressed and cleaned. I walked down to the kitchen to make coffee, but someone already made some. So I fixed myself a cup and went into the grey area to wait. Zexion showed up not long after.

"Axel asked if he could attend your training session today."

"Is that alright?" Zexion's face seemed slightly annoyed.

"Why does it matter that he's there?"

"Aww, don't tell me you're jealous?" I liked Zexion really, but soon he'd realize just how sarcastic I could be.

"Not even close. But, it's odd that the two of you have any sense of feeling toward each other. Oh well, I guess it's just a habit," Zexion said, now making a portal.

"Does that mean Le- I mean, Axel is coming?" I asked.

"It makes me no difference. However, I have no intention of waiting for him," Zexion responded, stepping through his portal. Lea came running out of his room, zipping up his cloak. I rolled my eyes at how goofy he looked. He probably went to Zexion's room in his pajamas. Lea could be a complete zombie in the morning.

I stepped through the portal, ending up back at Hollow Bastion. Zexion led us back to the clearing we were at yesterday. My fist clenched and I waited for him to start.

"Are you ready for this?" Zexion, summoned his book, and I nodded. He started saying things, and the world around me changed entirely. I was back in the same forest and everything looked and felt exactly the same. The only difference was that this time Lea was with me.

"What are we supposed to do?" Lea asked.

"I'm not sure. Last time, I was surrounded by wolves."

"There's one there!" Lea said, pointing.

A slate grey wolf came down from behind a series of trees. It walked toward me, very quickly, but also very calm. This wolf had no intention to harm me. On the contrary, it came up to me, and licked at my shoes. Lea laughed, and came up to pet the wolf. It licked at Lea's hand, and then pounced on him, and started licking his face.

"Looks like you got yourself a new girlfriend," I said.

"Hey! Hey-stop stop!" Lea said. The wolf just sat up on his stomach. Lea propped himself up on his elbows. "Hey, I just noticed something."

"What's that?" I asked, coming over.

"This wolf's eyes…they're the same shade of yellow that your own are." I never realized Lea paid attention to my eyes. If we were still alive, I'd probably be blushing. Suddenly I loved my new body that much more.

"I'm sure it's normal," I said. My ears twitched at the sound of shifting leaves. The entire pack of wolves from yesterday descended upon us. I braced myself for a fight, but they walked right by me, all flanking Lea. Then, they all came up, licking him, nuzzling him, and prancing around him. It was the strangest thing I'd ever seen.

One of them came over to me, and I looked into her eyes. Lea was right; it was like looking into a glass or a window…

Or a mirror.

I cocked my head to the side, and she did the same. I took a step back, an she paced backward. I opened my mouth, and she did to. I suddenly realized what was going on. Not only did I know that my attribute was wolves, but I now knew where we were. The forest was my mind, the wolves my thoughts, (strangely enough smothering Lea) and the moon, my source of power.

"ZEXION LET US OUT!" I yelled. Lea looked at me as if something went wrong. Suddenly, I was back in Hollow Bastion.

"Do you know what your attribute is?"

"Yes, but I won't be able to show you." I said.

"Then you have failed again."

"No Zexion. I can't show you here."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't feel the moon."

Zexion looked at me curiously. Lea stood up from the ground, a little worried. No doubt he was thinking of my "allergy." Only, it wasn't an allergy anymore. The moon was my strength, and my source of power.

"Fine, then we will reconvene tonight," Zexion said. I nodded, and summoned a portal back to the castle. One by one, we walked in, arriving at the grey area. The superior stood there, along with Xaldin, discussing something.

"Zexion," The superior said, greeting him; Xaldin just walked away.

"Hello my lord," Zexion said.

"Hello Axel, Saix," Xemnas greeted us as well.

"Heya," Lea said. I wanted to elbow him. He clearly didn't know how scary this man could be.

"Good afternoon," I said.

"Have you discovered Saix's attribute yet?"

"It will happen tonight, my lord," Zexion said.

"I hope so." Xemnas said, gazing at me, before turning, and floating away. His grace astounded me every time. But now, I was afraid. What would happen to me if I was wrong? What would happen to Lea?


	9. Chapter 9: This is not where you belong

Zexion walked away, and my mouth dried out. I didn't need a heart to realize that I was in over my head. This house and all of these men were all I had now; they were the only answers that I had. I looked over at Lea, holding his stomach; He was probably hungry.

"Hungry?" I asked.

He gave a little "heh heh…" and scratched the back of his head.

"I am to. Come on, I'll fix something up," I said, walking forward. We made our way to the kitchen, and I looked at the clock. It read 3:21, and I l glanced out the window. Everything looked the exact same; grey. I looked back, deciding to make a sub sandwich. I took out everything I needed, losing myself in the cooking process. Lea just watched.

I grilled the chicken and chopped up the vegetables, thinking of what was going to happen. Later tonight I would have to display whatever power I could muster. I wondered what it would feel like.

"Lea?"

"Yeah?"

"Does it hurt, when you use the fire?" I put some chicken on the grill, after I finished seasoning it.

"No not really," he said.

"How do you do it?"

"It just sort of happens. You just kinda…push it out," he said. He snapped his fingers and a flame lit between them. He snapped again and it blew out just like that. I'd hoped it would be that simple for me.

"I wonder what the others can do," I said, still cooking.

"All I know is what Lexaeus can do," said Lea.

"And what's that?"

"Rocks and stuff…" Lea said.

"So what, he shoots rocks out of his hand?" Suddenly the wolves didn't sound so bad…

"No. He would punch the ground or something and rocks would come out. Or jump up and down and make an earthquake." Wasn't that a yo-momma joke?

"I doubt he just pushes it out then," I said. This meant that I wouldn't know how to do whatever it is I could do. I finished up with the foot-long and cut it in half. I poured Lea a glass of cherry-cola, and fixed myself a cup of coffee. Lea came over and grabbed his food and drink. I carried my own and we went into the grey area. I sat down, and looked at my food. For some very strange reason, even without my heart, my body remembered the feeling of being nervous.

Lea plunged head first into his sub. It never bothered me how he ate; I took it as a compliment. But others compared it to a lion ripping apart an antelope. I picked up my half of the sandwich and bit into it. The food did help, so I continued eating. Lea made small talk to keep me occupied, and it helped, but I was still nervous. Even after we finished eating, we stayed out in the grey area just talking.

I looked back at the clock and it was already 7:30. I'd always hated how time could fly when you had something you didn't want to do, but when you were waiting for something, it took forever.

"I'll be right back." I said, getting up. I walked to my room and into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and took a couple of steps back. The look in my eyes scared me. I looked like a dog; like I had rabies! I walked out to my calendar and looked up today's date. There on my calendar read "full moon." I smirked; there really was a God. Forget the whole heartless attack thing.

I walked back out into the grey area. Lea was there, but he wasn't alone. Zexion, Lexaeus, Vexen, and Xaldin were all there, as well as the one that I hadn't met yet.

"Hello," He said to me. I nodded back at him. "My name's Xigbar."

"Saix," I responded.

"Why so blue, blue?" I hoped he didn't think he was being clever. "More so, how so blue? None of us here have hearts, yet you still manage to look upset."

"He always looks that way," Lea said from the background. A smirk curved in Xigbar's mouth. I looked up at the stairs, feeling a presence. Xemnas came floating down the stairs, and that's when I noticed; his feet actually didn't touch the ground! All this time I wondered how he managed to walk so gracefully, when in all actuality, he was floating. What a fairy.

"I didn't realize that this would require an audience," I said to Zexion, who'd walked by me at the time. He pulled me to the side so no one could hear our conversation.

"Yes well you brought this on yourself. You say you can only do this with the moon, which is quite unheard of. You could say most of us are intrigued," he responded.

"And the others?"

"They want to see what Xemnas will do, should you fail."

"You're always so _comforting_," I said, as sarcastic as I could manage.

"Oscar Wilde once said 'The truth is rarely pure and never simple,'" was his smartass reply. He glided off to join the crowd and Lea came to my side.

"You nervous?"

"No." I wasn't lying, but I wasn't quite telling the truth either. Technically I wasn't nervous or worried, because I don't have feelings anymore, but I do remember what I'm supposed to feel in these situations.

"Good, you'll be fine," He said, slapping my shoulder.

"Hn," Was my reply. It was then that the entire room fell completely silent. Xemnas had cleared his throat.

"It's time," He said. He made a darkness portal, and proceeded through it, followed by Xaldin. One by one we all walked in through the portal. Lea went after I did. We made our way to Hollow Bastion, and just as the calendar said, there was a big bright circle right there in the night sky. My skin instantly heated up. The Organization members formed a circle in what appeared to be the order that they joined. I found it weird that I was number VII even though Leah awoke before I did. Or maybe I just wanted to stand between Lea, and Xemnas. Regardless, I stood where I belonged.

"Saix, I believe you have something to show us," Xemnas said. Xigbar smirked again. What was with him? I nodded. "Please, step forward."

I looked down at the ground, at my feet, and then back up. I walked out to the center of the circle. Back when I was human, my heart would've been beating through my chest, but nothing was there. I just looked around, pretending to be nervous. Once I was in the center of the circle, I took another breath, and looked over at Lea. He nodded at me; it was very reassuring. I looked over at Xemnas, and saw a look of anticipation in his eyes. He could be so…never mind. I looked over at Vexen, and then I wanted to look back at Xemnas. But finally, I craned my neck back, staring directly at the moon.

My skin ignited. I unzipped my uniform a bit to let some air in, but it didn't help. Everything hurt! My legs were throbbing, my bones shifted beneath my skin. I could feel my flesh ripple and stretch. I howled in agony! I fell to my knees, feeling everything whip around me, until I closed my eyes and buried them in my hands. When the pain settled, and my breathing slowed, I opened them again. My eyes were so sharp, I could see the goose bumps on Vexen's skin, and I was at a distance at which I couldn't have imagined seeing them before. I sniffed, but I got a whiff of every one's odor, rather than the general smell of the air. Lexaeus needed a shower; badly.

"Xaldin?" Xemnas asked.

"Yes my lord?"

"Do me a favor, and summon your lances. It's time to give Saix a test run," Xemnas said. My ears perked at the sound of that. I owed Xaldin for the bitch-slap he gave me back when we'd first met.

"Certainly," He said, walking forward. He opened his hand, and what looked like a spear, came into it. I snarled at him, taking off my glove. My hand was deformed! The veins were pumping through my skin, and my nails were much longer, and sharp enough to be considered lethal weapons. I took the other glove, and that hand looked much the same. At the rate this was going, I wouldn't need my Claymore.

Xaldin smirked; I could smell his arrogance. He thought this was going to be an easy one. Zexion had mentioned that Xaldin was second on the "Do Not Anger," list, only after Xemnas. I also noticed that he had the second highest chair in our court room. But I felt invincible in this new body. He thought this was going to be cake and ice cream, but he was quite wrong.

"He ran for me, and then jumped into the air, coming down on me with his spear aiming right for my chest, I easily turned, dodging the lance, but out of nowhere, another one appeared, aiming for my side. Two more flew by, and I flipped over them. He now had two lances in the air, and two in his hands."

"Holding back on him Xaldin?" Xemnas seemed intrigued.

"He looks so fragile my lord; I wouldn't want to break him so early." Fragile. My. Ass.

I roared at him, and he came at me at a blurring speed. I braced myself, and the floating spears stabbed at me, I dodged them, spinning, turning, ducking and jumping. Xaldin commanded the wind, as I felt the breeze ripple through my hair.

"This is amazing," I heard Lexaeus say.

"Why is that?" Lea asked. I was actually a little saddened. I thought Lea would be cheering me on!

"No one can keep up with Xaldin's spears, much less dodge them with such ease," was Lexaeus' reply.

"It looks like they're dancing together," Xigbar chided. In the midst of me eaves dropping, one of the spears slashed my arm. It cut, and I roared, now enraged! I lunged forward at him, going straight for his neck. He forced me back with his wind, but his face now had a look of panic. I liked that.

"My my, it seems you have to use all six after all, Xaldin," Xemnas said. Xaldin spat on the ground, and summoned forth two more spears. This was just unfair. I summoned my claymore, and wound it back, like a baseball bat. Xaldin however, was done playing games. The wind blew rapidly, and he began to float in the air. Everyone else covered their eyes at the gust and debris, but I stood, ready for his attack. The spears swirled at me in a hurricane. I tried my best to jump through the wind, but it whirled so fast that I couldn't manage to jump through. It was the ultimate attack, and defense.

"Do you like my new technique, Saix?" Xaldin asked. I snarled, looking at the now visible whirlwind. The lances spun so rapidly, and the tornado grew with every circle. I did notice one spot however, where the wind didn't blow. My new vision was very handy; I wouldn't have stood a chance in normal mode. I immediately jumped through it, like an animal through a hoop, and did a somersault on the ground. Xaldin's eyes widened and I growled, jumping up into the air. I caught on to Xaldin's wind gust, and now I was flying to. Once I was right up to reach, I swung at him with my claymore, sending him hurtling to the ground.

The wind instantly ceased, and I fell to the ground. I landed on my feet, but I wasn't done yet. Xaldin was just getting up, but I ran forward, maximum speed. The members all seemed shocked but at this point I didn't care; my instincts had consumed me! Tackling Xaldin, I knocked him skidding across the floor. I ran forward again, swinging my claymore at him wildly. He summoned a spear to block it, but when the two collided; his spear had a dent in it. Xaldin was furious.

I grabbed his spear, yanked it out of his hands and through it aside, and he punched me off of him. I fell, rolled over, and then climbed right back on top of him. One of my hands wrapped around his neck, strangling him. The other balled up in a fist was inches away from his head, ready to deliver the final blow when I heard…

"That's enough." A hand was over my own, and I looked up. Xemnas stopped me from leaving a permanent dent in Xaldin's skeleton. I snarled, but he didn't back away. Instead he just looked me in the eye. I saw the horror of my own death behind them, and whimpered like a puppy that had just been kicked in the balls. No matter how strong I was now, I don't think I'd ever be enough to take down Xemnas.


	10. Chapter 10: Motivation

**Note: So sorry guys! I gave up on this story a while ago. I played "Birth By Sleep, and when I heard them say that Isa instead of Sai I lost all credibility X_X. But I went back and read this (and beat myself up over all of the grammatical errors) and realized that I cheated you all out of a chapter! So this is the last chapter and I hope you can forgive me if you're following me as an author.**

"Calm yourself Saix," Xemnas said. No one told me how to do this. Here I was, sitting on top of Xaldin, prepared to rid the world of his pitiful existence, and now Xemnas expected me to just let him go. I looked down at Xaldin, but then I got irritated, so I looked over at Lea. He was watching me, as if I'd explode at any second. I focused on him, took a deep breath, exhaled, and felt everything just fade away.

I rolled over off of Xaldin, now completely exhausted. I heard one person start to clap, then two, and then I was surrounded by applause. But I wasn't caught off guard until Xemnas offered me a hand. I took it, and he pulled me to my feet. I noticed Xaldin wasn't given the same courtesy. "You have done well Saix. Your attribute is certainly unique, and I'm sure it will prove a great aid to our future endeavors."

I nodded, and then walked into the circle standing next to Zexion. He whispered "not bad," and I shot him a glance. Ok, so maybe Zexion was kind of attractive….really attractive…or maybe I just like it when people compliment me. Regardless, I looked toward the center at Xemnas. "It is a new day for the Organization VIII. We welcome Saix, and Axel as our brothers in our quest to become whole." They all clapped again. "Let us relocate at the castle, I believe this exhibition is done." Xemnas conjured an enormous portal, and we all walked through it together.

I noticed that Xemnas' portal was far darker than any other I'd been in. Not only was it dark, but it was silent. In my own I could at least hear the others, but with him, all there was, was the light on the other end. I ran to it much quicker than usual, and reappeared in the grey area. One by one everyone came out. I looked over at Lea, and he too was a little rattled by the perfect dark of Xemnas' portal. "Saix, Axel, from here on I want you to report to the grey area every morning to check on your mission detail. You are to complete your missions to the best of your ability. Should you fail, report your failure, and handle it as soon as possible." I nodded, as did Lea. "Well, I'm going to be off. Goodnight everyone," he said, floating off to the hallways.

I watched him leave, and then turned to look at Lea, who had a stupid grin on his face. I raised one eyebrow. "What?"

"Nice goin' man!" I looked around. Xaldin scoffed and went upstairs, and out of sight. I could tell we were off to the start of a beautiful friendship.

"I agree. Xaldin is the toughest fighter here, second only to the superior himself. That fight was impressive," Zexion said.

"Thatta boy blue!" Xigbar was laughing and went off on his own as well. Lexaeus just nodded, and followed. Zexion made himself comfortable on the couch. I looked over at Lea, who looked back at me.

"Hungry?" He gave me a sheepish look. It irritated me how much expression he could show! He could smile, and laugh, and his body was so warm! It was as if Lea was just having a good time now.

"Yeah," he said.

"Well, that's just too bad isn't it?" I said. I walked off, not bothering to look back at the face I knew he was giving me. I headed straight for my bedroom, and then went into the bathroom. I still looked a little different, because of the moon, but I was healthier looking then I had been before. Still, I hopped in the shower, and took the necessary precautions that I did when I was whole. I took the blatant placebos my doctor had given me, and put on my pajamas. When I'd come out, Lea was sitting on my bed.

"That wasn't very nice ya know," He said.

"Guess you'll just have to punish me," I said, going right behind him, and laying down, facing the wall opposite him.

"You have been talking back to me lately," he said. I felt an arm around my waist. I was shocked; stunned. I took a deep breath, and opened my eyes. I don't know what it was; maybe I was on a testosterone kick, maybe I just got tired of beating around the bush, but he took it there when he touched me that way. I turned around to face him.

I looked into his neon green eyes. And then down to his lips. "Why are you here anyway?" I had to know, but I still looked at those lips. They looked delicious.

"It's a full moon out. I remember how you used to spaz. I just wanted to…" He said, stopping.

"Just wanted..to…" I said coming in closer, teasing him. He didn't finish his thought. He came in even closer, and I felt the warmth of his breath against my own lips. My ice cold skin was caressed by the air. I couldn't take it anymore, it was now or never. I came in, and I kissed him. We were fire and ice. His own lips against mine felt wonderful. To my surprise, he began to kiss back.

His lips molded against mine, at first a soft innocent kiss. After a while, we broke, and he came in for another one. This one was a little more aggressive. We kept kissing, and breaking until I finally sat up. He sat up as well, and I unzipped his cloak. He had a t-shirt on beneath it. I threw it to the floor and kissed him again. My arms went around his neck, and his hands palmed my hips. He pushed me against the wall next to my bed, and my legs wrapped around him.

His tongue slid across my lips, slick and wet. I gasped and he shot through the gates of my mouth. Our tongues began to battle for dominance, as I began to breathe furiously through my nose. His warm hands ran up my sides and I moaned into the kiss. I felt myself getting really hard now. I pushed him off of me, grabbed his t-shirt by the collar and took it right off of him. He yanked mine off as well. I hopped back onto him for another kiss, but I pushed him off the bed. We went tumbling together, knocking a few things on the floor with us.

He was moaning now, and he rolled so that he was on top of me. He took my legs and wrapped them around him again, as he began to thrust forward. I could feel us grinding in-between our pajama pants and he was just as hard as I was. I kissed him, and bit his bottom lip a little. Then things got aggressive. He would take his hand, and increase the temperature to leave his mark on my body, as he traveled down me. I kissed down to his neck, and bit him leaving a mark in it to be interpreted as "mine."

He slid out of his pajama bottoms and we kept kissing and humping until I took things a further. I reached into his boxers, and grabbed his hardness. He jumped back, and off of me at once.

"Wait," he said. I was breathing hard now. I propped myself up on my elbows.

"What…did I…what's wrong…?" I asked in-between breaths.

"This isn't right," he said, sliding his pajamas back on. I could feel myself going soft again.

"Wait…Lea…" I said, getting up, but he stood up before me. He got up, and walked to the door as fast as he could, and he left. I stood there in the middle of my room, for about a half hour, before I finally gave up and went to bed. But I didn't fall asleep for another 2 hours. I just laid there.

I woke up that morning and got ready again. I went to the kitchen, and made myself a cup of coffee, before going to the grey room. I looked around, to see if Lea was there. I didn't want to talk to him just yet. But no one was there, except Xemnas.

"Good morning Saix."

"Morning," I said, looking into his golden eyes. The pressure this man gave off was unreal. "Do I…have…."

"Actually, I have not found a task for you as of yet. You have the day off." Great, I was actually looking forward to getting out of here for a while. I needed something to take my mind off of what happened last night.

"Ok, Ok…." I said, turning to take my leave.

"Saix," Xemnas said. I turned back around. He came toward me and I froze. The closer he got, the more I had to crane my neck. He came up to me, lifted and lowered his eyebrows once, and caressed my neck. The part he touched, had been a burn mark. "I didn't know that was still possible," he said, now looking at my neck and then back at me. I swallowed hard. "Forgive me," he said, smiling. He turned his back on me and walked away into the darkness.

It wasn't until later, when I'd snapped out of the trance I was just put into, that I realized that Xemnas just figured out that Lea and I were up to something last night. I felt strange, so I decided to go to the Library. The only person I'd find there was Zexion, but he wasn't one to disturb. Even without feelings, you know when you just want to be alone for a little while.


End file.
